Gudrun Frerichs, PhD

The Tale of 2 Brains

It is surprising how many couples struggle with their relationship - yet they fail to get professional imput that could help them to improve their happiness and satisfaction a good working partnership could hold. Their family car gets more often a tune-up than their relationship - even though people often have even less understanding of what makes a good relationship than what it takes to have a smooth running car.

In the following video clip, marriage expert Mark Gungor presents a humorous exploration of the difference between how women and men think and behave.

Myth About Womens' Low Sexual Desire

Many people are of the opinion that if a woman rarely wants sex there is something physically wrong with her. Maybe her sexual desire, her libido, would improve with the help of medical treatment? What pill can be prescribed that would get her back on the right track?

Like in many other areas, some health professionals (and certainly pharmaceutical companies) quickly reduce interpersonal, social, and cultural problems to a hormonal imbalance, that can be - and should be remedied with something we can buy in the pharmacy.

The biggest misconception of our present time is that problems like low sexual desire or depression are all due to hormonal or chemical imbalance. A misconception that is widely fed and supported research financed by pharmaceutical companies whose huge profits rely on people reaching for 'the pill'.

Facts About Being Gay

There are a lot of myths, facts, semi-facts, and wild stories that circulate around homosexuality. The following video is a 5 minute Tiki-Tour of education about some of the facts regard 'gay-ness' that have such a hard time to combat old theories of:

1. The absent or domineering parent
2. It's un-natural
3. It's a choice

and new theories of:

1. It's in the genes
2. It may be about having older brothers ! <:0

Improve Your Sex-Life

Sex is the most profound and intimate way people express their love to each other. Through the ever increasing access to information through traditional media and the internet we are very well informed about the many different ways people enjoy and pursue sex and sexual gratification in their lives. Even though one might think we have been 'immunised' and desensitised by explicit sexual depictions in public, in movies, and in the media, sex or the lack thereof is still a very reliable barometer of the quality of people's relationships with each other.

Request: The 4th Step in Effective Communication

I have written previously about the steps of the Connecting Dialogue, a strategy of communicating with others that has a great chance of getting your needs met. It's also great for resolving conflict. For an outline of the whole 4 step process go to "The Connecting Dialogue"

Below you'll find a video clip from an accomplished NVC trainer who explaines in more detail the importance of the steps. Here is the 4th step: Making a Request:

Needs: The 3rd Step in Effective Communication

I have written previously about the steps of the Connecting Dialogue, a strategy of communicating with others that has a great chance of getting your needs met. It's also great for resolving conflict. For an outline of the whole 4 step process go to "The Connecting Dialogue"

Below you'll find a video clip from an accomplished NVC trainer who explaines in more detail the importance of the steps. Here is the first step: Expressing Your Needs:

Feelings: The 2nd Step in Effective Communication

I have written previously about the steps of the Connecting Dialogue, a strategy of communicating with others that has a great chance of getting your needs met. It's also great for resolving conflict. For an outline of the whole 4 step process go to "The Connecting Dialogue"

Below you'll find a video clip from an accomplished NVC trainer who explaines in more detail the importance of the steps. Here is the first step: Expressing a Feeling:

Observation: The First Step in Effective Dialogues

I have written previously about the steps of the Connecting Dialogue, a strategy of communicating with others that has a great chance of getting your needs met. It's also great for resolving conflict. For an outline of the whole 4 step process go to "The Connecting Dialogue"

Below you'll find a video clip from an accomplished NVC trainer who explaines in more detail the importance of the steps. Here is the first step: Making an observation.

Active Listening in Compassionate Communication

Those who have done a communication skills course or downloaded my "Improve your Communication" home study course will know about the importance of active listening.

When I teach active listening in my courses, people feel really awkward to apply the skills. Indeed, it takes a real paradigm shift to move from the "normal" stance in communication, that is usually all about "ME", to the stance of compassionate communication, that is all about "US".

You might wonder about the expression "giraffe talk" versus "jakal talk" - the giraffe in Non Violent Communication stands for coming from a heart space, the jakal talk stands for coming from a critical position.

The video clip posted here will give you examples of how to apply active listening skills and combine them with principles of compassionate communication. I've called these principles "The Connecting Dialogue" in a previous post.

Staying in Love

Having a successful relationship is a discipline and not just a matter of finding the 'right partner'. It depends on working every day on relating well to your partner and being mindful of each others' needs and actions.

You are now able to put your hands on my book “STAYING IN LOVE” that will give you the tools to achieve just that. It is a practical, hands-on book that gives you step by step techniques to improve your relationships. The 10 steps are jam-packed with information and exercises that help you get your struggling relationships back on track.

Staying In Love

10 Steps to Success...

By Dr. Gudrun Frerichs

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