When DID clients have successfully progressed through the third stage MAKING HUMAN CONTACT in which they proceeded to re-connect with society in general they had a sense of Homecoming. Homecoming described clients' sense of coming home to themselves, achieving quality of life, finding happiness, coming to terms with their past, being everything they ever dreamed of, finding the real me, blossoming, and having a sense of more good things to come.
I integrated because my self-states realised, that “I” was home for us all. I left therapy because my spirit found a better, more real, and more fulfilling home. And I still have problems because I do not feel at home in the world, in my relationship with people, or in the way I present myself to the world (Mona, 3/1)
Having a sense of quality of life was indicative of Homecoming. For DID clients it symbolised their ability to establish and maintain relationships with other people that are fulfilling and nurturing. To be able to do so was for participants in this study a central aspect of well-being. It was more difficult to identify other aspects of Homecoming. Most comments clustered around arriving at a point where one could relax, that the daily struggle diminished, and that people were able to envisage a future in which connecting with other people would be possible.
I think it is as much of a passion that God had, to have relationships with us. That’s what I relate it to. We are actually meant to have human friendships and closeness and that to me equals quality of life. That is quality of life. If your life is basically in total isolation, and you don’t have any quality relationships, that’s what you can’t cope with. And having that, to me is the quality of life, the happiness of life. So that’s how pivotal I think it is (Treena 2/3).
Homecoming also meant DID clients could give up striving to be who they were not; they could like themselves and be accepted. It meant for them coming to terms with their limitations and with the basic conditions of their lives. This provided them with a sense of peace and a sense of having found something very precious, something to be treasured and to be held dear.
One of the things that my spiritual work helped me with is coming to terms with the fact that I am possibly going to stay quite isolated (Sharon).
When I met you I knew I had every thing I ever dreamed of, every thing I ever wanted, everything I ever needed and we wont let it go again (Katherine3/1).
Carol described Homecoming as seeing herself blossoming. Being able to let down the walls that imprisoned her for so long had opened a whole new world for her. She spoke of being able now to live the part of her that had to be locked away in order to survive the abuse.
The real me, that had been locked away. That part of me is now able to live a normal life. It’s like being connected with the world, having your own thoughts, accepting who I am and accepting other people. Be the real me! I see myself as blossoming (Carol 3/1).
Connection with others is a vital human need. To live without human contact means isolation, despair, and hopelessness. Homecoming as the endpoint of the process of CONNECTING meant that clients have progressed in their healing and regained a sense of basic trust. They will be able to set appropriate boundaries and establish and maintain meaningful relationships.It is at this point that clients get a sense that they came to the end of their recovery journey - at least to the extend that they did not need any further professional assistance.
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