Does Counselling Work?

The other day, on my way to town, I listened to talk-back radio questioning the counselling industry and wanting to hear from listeners whether counselling ever worked for them. Listening to some of the comments made, I was amazed how quickly people are prepared to judge without bothering to do at least some research, looking for facts, or doing at least some sort of deeper thinking.

Counselling and counsellors have been the target for much ridicule and sarcastic comments for many years. In a society that puts a lot of emphasis on being successful, showing no weaknesses, and appearing spotless, having to go to a counsellor must mean for many people the ultimate declaration of personal failure and weakness.

Counselling is not much different from an accountant showing you that your spendings don't match your income and setting you up for bankruptcy; or your doctor telling you that your eating habits will lead to heart problems or diabetes. A counsellor can show you how your actions, beliefs, values, and self-concepts could stop you from living the life you long for. Having the benefit of training in human development, the development of psychological problems, and in other related fields, the counsellor can help you make links to causes and consequences you may not have thought about. Add to that wealth of knowledge what the medical profession calls 'bedside manners' (giving time and undivided attention, care, empathy, appreciation, human connection), you have the unique tool-box of a counsellor.

So, how does counselling work? Or better, how does it not work? There is a widespread myth that going to counselling can fix your problems. The surprising wake-up call for many people is, that going to counselling doesn't guarantee you that your problems are going to vanish - just like going on holiday doesn't guarantee you that you will have a good time and will be re-charged.

The most important part in making counselling, or holidays, or your depleted accounts work out well is YOU! You have to apply yourself! You have to look at the feedback the counsellor gives you and make changes in your behaviour, your lifestyle, your thinking. You have to go out of your comfort zone and stretch, face fears, and stand up for your beliefs and values.

Counselling is not like a confessional where you can express your despair of your situation and then hope for some higher power to make it all go away. Whether counselling works or not is more dependent on you than anything else. However, when you find a counsellor you can connect with, it's like finding a coach that can inspire and motivate you to go the extra mile, make the extra push-up, stretch beyound the sore muscles, get fit, train for the next marathon, or recover from an injury.

 

 

 

Comments

[Gudrun Frerichs]

Hi overworked, you are unfortunately promoting a common myth - unless you were talking about your own experience -: it is not very common that people stay too long with a therapist when things don't work for them. Its a much bigger problem that people stay away from sessions because they avoid doing the work required to change their lives around.

However, I understand that you are confirming my point: Clients need to be very active in looking for the counsellor they feel right with. Just as a Club Med holiday is not for everyone - to stay with the holiday comparison - counsellor and client have to be a good match.

I am sure you are right: some counsellors are maybe not good. Just as some nurses are a disaster, some doctors are useless, some politicians are blind, ... do I need to say more? And there seems to be as much or as little accountability in all these other professions as well.

[Over worked & under paid]

I also think finding the right counsellor for you is important. Everyone is different and no 'one size fits all' so shop around. Also people evolve. They can go so far with one counsellor and then may have to switch to someone else to continue the rest of the journey.... this is not failure just meeting your needs as you evolve and grow. If a person is making NO progress then they will know themselves and it may be worth trying another therapist. Too many people think they will upset their current therapist or they owe them their loyality due to the relationship they have formed. But if something doesn't work..... it does no one any favours in the long run.

I also think there are a handful of counsellors that DO cause damage and there appears to be little accountablity due to the 'relationship' and possible 'manipulation' that occurs and it's those counsellors that bring shame on the whole profession.