Gudrun Frerichs, PhD

Overindulgence and Impulse Control

It is no secret that a lot of what people do is motivated by their need for being happier. There are those who indulge in excessive eating, drinking, using drugs, shopping, exercising, or ranting and raving at every other person around them, to name just some examples. All in the service of making good feelings stay longer and/or bad feelings to go away.

They overindulge in a 'pet-activity' not for the activity's sake, but in a vain attempt to regulate their emotions, to feel better - often to the detriment of one's health, financial situation, or relationships.

The Benefit of Groups

"The quality of a person's social life could have an even greater impact than diet and exercise on their health and well-being. There is growing evidence that being a member of a social group can significantly reduce the risk of conditions like stroke, dementia and even the common cold. New research by the Universities of Exeter and Queensland, Australia, shows that membership of social groups has a positive impact on health and well-being". (American Physiological Society (2009, September 13).

Uncertainty & Negative Emotions

Do Dom, Do Dom, Do Dom .... remember Jaws? I think I saw it more than 20 times and yet, I never saw it! Although being a movie lover I have to admit, there are many of my favorite movies that I've watch over and over again - and I never saw "it". By it I mean the moment when the shark attacks, the intruder slides through the dark house approaching the non-expecting victim to be, the ice is breaking underneath the child's feet, or the gun is about to get fired. I never really saw Bruce Willis getting shot in the sixth sense. I leave the room, get a drink, adjust my hair, file my nails .... anything really. Go figure!

Myth About Womens' Low Sexual Desire

Many people are of the opinion that if a woman rarely wants sex there is something physically wrong with her. Maybe her sexual desire, her libido, would improve with the help of medical treatment? What pill can be prescribed that would get her back on the right track?

Like in many other areas, some health professionals (and certainly pharmaceutical companies) quickly reduce interpersonal, social, and cultural problems to a hormonal imbalance, that can be - and should be remedied with something we can buy in the pharmacy.

The biggest misconception of our present time is that problems like low sexual desire or depression are all due to hormonal or chemical imbalance. A misconception that is widely fed and supported research financed by pharmaceutical companies whose huge profits rely on people reaching for 'the pill'.

Improve Your Sex-Life

Sex is the most profound and intimate way people express their love to each other. Through the ever increasing access to information through traditional media and the internet we are very well informed about the many different ways people enjoy and pursue sex and sexual gratification in their lives. Even though one might think we have been 'immunised' and desensitised by explicit sexual depictions in public, in movies, and in the media, sex or the lack thereof is still a very reliable barometer of the quality of people's relationships with each other.

The Economic Down-Turn and Mental Health

For a long time people in New Zealand enjoyed a good life! After all, aren’t  we living in ‘Godzone”? Yes, we are still living in one of the most beautiful places in the world. However, the world-wide economic down-turn also effects us in li’l old New Zealand. Lots of people who struggled for years with their mental and physical health know the impact of financial insecurity and (-hopefully-) have a fair understanding of how/where to get help, and what they can do to help themselves.

How Can You Help Unhappy Friends?

Dr. Martin Seligman, professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and Director of the Positive Psychology Center, and founder of the field of positive psychology, answers the questions: how can I use positive psychology with my unhappy friends? What should be available for unhappy people? How do I use positive psychology? Hear it from “the horses mouth” – Dr. Martin Seligman talks about positive psychology and authentic happiness.

Source: www.ted.com

Communication: What Not To Do - Part II

Following on from the previous post, there are some more 'NO-NO's' that, if you fall in the trap of using them, will certainly bring discord or stress into your relationships.

Fighting Dirty
Fighting dirty is a recipe for disconnecting rather than for CONNECTING. It actually indicates that the attacking person has very little self-awareness, and very few skills with which to deal with conflict situations. Rather than expressing how annoyed, hurt, or exasperated he/she is, an attack on the partner’s person-hood is chosen. Common examples are: “You are not a real man, you can’t stand up to your brother”, “You can’t even string proper sentences together”.

How to Increase Love in your Life?

How much love and happiness we experience in our life and how positive our outlook is on the future is to some extend dependent on what we are paying attention to. Research and anecdotal  reports show that people who focus mainly on all the things that are bad in their lives  will be unhappy, more prone to illness, and have less satisfying relationships than those who focus on the things that go well for them. It affirms the divide between those who are “the-glass-half-full-people” versus “the-glas-half-empty-people”.  Not only will these people be unhappy and dis-satisfied, they will also miss acts of love that happen around them.

Love is a Human Need

“From birth to death, love is not just the focus of human experience but also the life force of the mind, determining our moods, stabilizing our bodily rhythms, and changing the structure of our brains. The body’s physiology ensures that relationships determine and fix our identities. Love makes us who we are, and who we can become”. (A General Theory of Love, by Lewis, Amini, Lannon, p.viii)